Wednesday, June 08, 2005

The Amnestyville Horror

Inside those famous walls, it is said that there were dark forces at work. Horrors beyond imagination, it was told, are the norm. The devil has taken hold of the big white house at the end of the street, and nobody is safe until a priest can cast him out. The shocking story has become one of the most gripping tales of a generation, and will likely give even the most rational among us nightmares for years to come. And, yet, it is not the recently released Hollywood movie remake, The Amityville Horror. It is much more dreadful a tale.

This month, the so-called humanitarian group known as Amnesty International (AI) released their assessment of worldwide violations of human rights. At the top of their list of brutal regimes was -- wait for it -- the U. S. of A. In light of accusations made to them by prisoners (who were trained to lie about their treatment) the group labeled the detention facility at Guantanamo a gross violator, and the head of the organization described it as a “Gulag”.

I must agree with the organization. I, personally, would find life unbearable in quarters approximately the size of a mid-priced motel room, keeping only the company of bunch of militant religious fanatics, having only a low-sink in which to wash my feet before prayer and a low-flow toilet for other functions. Living on a tropical island, with the air conditioner blowing across my neck would set my teeth on edge. I’d tear my hair out if I had to eat halal (religiously appropriate, “clean”) meals every day, instead of being able to send out for pepperoni pizza. And, what’s with all that pussyfooting around a book?

Life would be so much easier if I were left in an actual gulag, similar to those Castro runs just a few miles away. I just know I’d be happier disappearing from the face of the planet and being shipped to the original Gulag Archipelago Stalin held so dear -- so dear that he sent a hefty percentage of his most intelligent and well-educated citizenry there to watch over it for him. In fact, I think I’d probably be more miserable in that Gitmo Gulag than as a free person living under the watchful eye of Robert Mugabe. Or, wow, maybe I should consider moving to North Korea, since they, like Mugabe’s Zimbabwe, seem to have a really successful national weight-loss program going right now.

Not only has AI made the outrageous comparison between our Motel-6-on-the-Caribbean filled with combatants and a frozen wasteland of death for millions of innocents, but they’ve also given a recommendation: any country would be within its rights to kidnap, try, and execute the leaders of the country which has built this “gulag”.* That’s right, they’re advocating acts of war. Not against, say, Korea’s leaders. Not against Osama bin Laden’s roughnecks. Against us. It seems that, according to AI, our president and his administration have been operating secret camps all over the globe, and, in the fashion of Saddam over the past decades, making private citizens vanish. For that, the people should rise up against the leaders -- without any evidence other than the word of a bunch of rabid marxists -- and kidnap them.

Do the people who run this ostensibly humanitarian organization really think that people are stupid enough to believe them, when they say, with absolutely no substantiation, that America has secret camps all over the world? That our government -- which seems totally unable to keep a secret for longer than a few hours -- could successfully “disappear” hundreds, even thousands of people all over the world? I suppose they have a right to believe that. Blind, willful ignorance is not the exclusive purview of leftist college professors and other tree-huggers. There have been plenty of other stupid people join them already, and there are still seemingly well-educated but stupid people getting themselves elevated to positions of considerable power ( Nancy Pelosi, Howard Dean, and Harry Reid come to mind right off the bat). Some of them even make movies, as well (but I don’t think I need to name names, do I?).

Somehow, the more I think about it, the more all this stuff does fit right into a really bad Hollywood creepshow. Insupportable, impossible, and superstitious nonsense is, after all, their stock and trade. The Devil who claimed the Big White House, though, needs to be cast out by a non-denominational priest, since Christianity is a no-no. And they can’t go shaking around a holy book of any sort other than the Bible, since that would upset the poor dhimmis -- er, um, the profligate moviegoers. As long as they keep painting one clean-shaven Texan and his Wyoming compadre as the Spawn of Evil, and have the Bearded One as the ultimate hero, it ought to become another box office smash among the young and the foolish fanatics who want to believe.

The rest of us don’t buy those tickets.

*This would be in direct violation of international treaties granting diplomatic immunity , & against the Geneva Convention. Interesting, no?

BONUS -- RECOMMENDED READING: Captain's Quarters takes a clear look at my asterisked question, as well as other legal ramifications of AI's leadership's recent statements.

In my opinion, AI should lose its tax-exempt status, and there ought to be inquiries made. At the very least, (to borrow the words of AI's Mr. Schulz), "[i]f US government continues to shirk its responsibility" and allows this man and others to continue this sedition, WE need to take action come election season.

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